Josh Billings on Ice

so cheap and so hand

ilt out ov it, the lizard and the elephant are full ov it, i

the language ov creeping things, the majesta ov the mountin, the s

story iz

are looking iz aul the capital nece

kes such cheap sacrifices upon aul her alter

udy the light-hearted grasshopper, the re

a burden," and i never knu the Bi

y are verry small, but in a little w

r at once, and then g

with the wind on their quarter

others. I hav seen sum fields so full ov them that you couldn't st

, and then they bekum a traveling famine, and leave the road they

necesary for our happiness, but they may

would let the grass and cornstalks be, and pitch onto the burdoks and Canada thissells, i would bet a few dol

nt would be tew be

Bed Bugs. They are the meanest ov aul cra

te, but sneak in, after dark, and

hiz sides-the flea iz a game bugg, and will make a dash at you even in Broadway-but the bed-

earing, i wouldn't hesitate to d

r ov them will stock a hair mattrass in 2 weeks, wi

the only way tew git rid ov them iz tew bile up the whole b

s eye, and hav a brown complexion, and when they start out to garrote are az thin a

ys tew git the swe

tummuks; but it seems tew me that they must hav bin made b

rong road, for there kant be enny wisdum in chawing a man aul nig

ed buggs will chaw them folks who kan see it, an

e brute creashun, and the

s ov an onion seed, and s

nd kan spring further and fast

a run; one flea will go aul over a man's subburbs in

y way iz tew quit bizzness ov aul kinds and hunt for the flea, and when you have found him, he ain't thare. Th

as, in the whole ov the United States ov America, unless thare iz a cazualty ov sum kind. O

on't mash them up az fine az ground pepper they will start bi

flea, and it takes a pretty smart man tew se

re you do ennything else; for if you pu

st away forever in