Wedding Night

to say is that

s, I am not going

irree. No

nking about it all day. E

. Him. How it was. How we

elieve I’m going to see him

n,

ke some sort of time-tra

at rickety little table we

ound. My bare feet resting

bout my Sprite addictio

images have been resurf

is eyes. His scent. He was

is intensity. He made m

, as though nothing matte

ation. The sensation of hi

rything was hot and heig

ter, this is—well. Bizarre

icipation. Enough loitering

o

ish restaurant in Clerke

orks nearby, doing someth

to resort to a hasty Google

ack him down on Facebook,

which apparently he’s a

an actor when we were toge

nged his mind. We didn’t

e pretty much just intere

change

e-night discussions on Br

eading. And global warmi

ebate-y, now that I look back. A bit earnest. But, t

, teetering a bit on my n

houlders and admiring m

heard I was going on a date

level of activity. They

ven offered m

hat. I’d already been to t

us, post-proposal sex with

l waste

ted pang. I should invoic

an Francisco, together wit

chard. When you

think about Richard. Do

e on. Move

tightly, willing strength

rn. One minute I’m at my

e. It’s kism

not going to s

I’m

o the restaurant, I whip

st time. Bloody hell. I ke

iant. I have stunning n

her and highlighter. My li

p: I’m g

e you bump into your exboyfriend, wearing only pa

fe, and I’m fairly sure I ne

ists. This is my pi

of confidence, I push ope

smell of garlic and seafoo

and the right kind of h

d friendly. A mixologist i

nstant, Pavlovian d

, I hastily resolve. I’m n

t going to

is approaching

a friend. He reserved

’ leads me a winding rout

ich possible men are sittin

aves with apprehension.

not t

Here he is, rising from h

o, so, so

him, registering details

pics. Slightly odd pattern

. Thinner. His face is defi

You’d never know that he

his ear where his

there,” I

I sound so understated. E

ide me now that I’ve had

e always was, but better.

grown-up, civilized doub

urvey

ou look …

pretty goo

en’t age

e go

ther in a kind of amaze

to collect a dodgy box of

ousand pounds in cash. W

lot can change in a man’s

ything. He could have bee

could have developed som

at me, thinking, Thank G

ne gray/gained

gly at my chair and I sit

n year

nks.” I la

eets my eye with the s

the catch-up done. You w

teetota

the cocktail menu, feeling

This is going to be a great evening. I already know it. “Let’s see what they’ve got.