Three Men on the Bummel

ggests the possibility of improving our minds-Harris and I are doubtful-Which man on a tandem does the most work?-The opinion of the man in front-Vi

be persuaded by me, and go away for a month. No, do not ask me to come with you. I know you would rather that I did, but I will not. It is the society of other men you need. Try and persuade George and Harris to go with you. Believe me, a highly strung brain such as yours demands occasional relaxation from the strain of domestic surroundings. Forget for a little while that children want music lessons, and boots, and bicycles, with tincture of rhubarb three times a day; forget there are such things in life as cooks, and house decorators, and next-doo

as we would wish. To begin with, Ethelbertha did not seem to rema

, I'm not feeling qu

oticed anything different;

t is," I said; "I've fel

ouch it except when we go to the Harris's. You kno

; "it's deeper than that. I fanc

aid Ethelbertha, more sympathetically; "why don

nswered; "they've been quite flatt

helbertha; "there must be s

ing about it; I can only describe it as a strange feeli

hat curious expression, I thought; but as she

these days of peaceful, uneve

thelbertha; "we might get some of the

in heaven do not occasionally feel the continual serenity a burden. To myself a life of endless bliss, uninterrupted by a single contrasting note, would, I feel,

t upon me, she suggested my not worrying myself about that, remarking it was always foolish to go half-way to meet trouble that might never come; while as to my being a strange sort of fellow, that, she

get away occasionally, even from you; but I k

eak like this before; it astonis

remark to make," I sai

ng, why I am going, how long I am going to be, and when I shall be back. You don't know how I sometimes long to order a dinner that I should like and that the children would like, but at the sight of which you would put on your hat and be off to the Club. You don't know how much I feel inclined sometimes to invite some woman h

ards, have come to see their wisdom; but at

" I said, "is to

perfect, just long enough to let me remember what a dear fellow you are in other respects, and to look forward to your return, as I used to look forward to your coming in the o

fully an absence of three or four weeks from her husband appeared to me to be not altogether nice, not what I call womanly; it was not like Ethelbertha at all. I was worried,

day from my presence, you shall enjoy it; but if it be not impertinent curiosity on

Ethelbertha, "you'll persuade Harris to go with you, and then Clara can join us. We three used to have some very jolly times together before you men ev

I wou

thelbertha; "try hard. You m

herefore nobody would be much benefited by his absence. But a woman never understands satire. E

in the afternoon, and ask

right; there's no diffi

t suggested incomplete satisfaction,

nued; "said it was an excellent idea of Georg

ht," I said; "what'

he answered, "but that wasn't all. S

rstand,

throom fad of he

d; "she has started Ethel

couldn't argue any more when she was so nice about the other

as that?"

said Harris; "the est

to hear hi

verything that has gone wrong in the house for the las

en stove has been worse than the last. Our present one is not only incompetent; it is

d be such a saving of expense, having the two things done at the same time. I believe," said Harris,

is going to cost you?" I asked.

. Then we talked about the piano. Could you ever notice," s

louder than others," I answer

treble," said Harris. "By t

part that sounds as if you'd trod on its tail. The bri

hasn't got enough of it. I'll have to put it in th

g else?"

e didn't seem able to

home," I said, "she has th

hat?" sai

olkestone for

t a house at Folkest

ggested, "during t

said Harris, "for the holidays, with t

Wales on her way home; but she'll want a house at Folkestone for the season, notwithstandi

Harris, "is goin

uggestion," I said,

him," said Harris; "he'll get us in

as a muddler

rong," add

that moment in the hal

o him," I suggested; "it's

," replied Harris. "I should have to get

looking ver

is it all right? H

I did not altogether like; I n

d what?

et off," s

as come to explai

proposes, the woman submits. It is

ands and fixed his

We have mentioned to our wives that we are going. Naturally, they are grieved; they would prefer to come with us; failing that,

tand. I am only a bachelor. People tell me

want information come to Harris or myself; we

nd we proceeded with

we start?"

ned," replied Harris,

efore Mrs. H. thought of other thing

t route?"

take it you fellows are naturall

a reasonable degree, yes, if it can be done witho

uggestion is that we take the boat to Hamburg, see Berlin and Dresden,

s in Mesopotamia, so I've

y, but that the Berlin-Dresden route was quite pra

aid George, "as before. Harr

rris, firmly. "You and J. on

greed George. "J. and I

ted, "but I am not going to carry George a

divide it. But it must be on the di

what?" sa

ted Harris, firmly; "a

George; "don't you

s the motive power, the man in front merely doing the puffing. The mystery will never be solved. It is annoying when Prudence is whispering to you on the one side not to overdo yo

matter-lost

ng to this impossibility of knowing what the person behind is doing. He was riding wi

Harris, without

Why she should have thought he said "Jump off," wh

, "If you had said, 'Sit tight,

ted you to jump off, why shou

, but they argue about

roceed rapidly down a long and steep incline, she was seized, first with surprise, secondly with indignation, and lastly with alarm. She ran to the top of the hill and shouted, but he never turned his head. She watched him disappear into a wood a mile and a half distant, and then sat down and cried. They had had a slight difference that morning, and she wondered if he had taken it seriously and intended desertion. She had no money; she knew no Dutch. People passed, and seemed sorry for her; she tried to make them understand wh

d to him that he had suddenly become a stronger, and in every way

light for months. It's this ai

, and put his heart into his work. The bicycle bounded over the road like a thing of life; farmhouses and ch

ing a good deal. It was a sense of void that came upon him. He stretched out his hand behind him, and felt; there was nothing there but space. He jumped, or rather fell off, and looked back up the road; it stretched white and straight t

that Harris should be making a fuss about the thing. He could get no sense out of either of them, and cursing them he mounted his machine again, and took the middle road on chance. Half-way up, he came upon a party of two young women with one young man between them. They appeared to be making the most of him. He asked them if they had seen his wife. They asked him what she was lik

fastened with a bow? Were there feathers in her hat, or flowers? Or was it a hat at all? He dared not say, for fear of making a mistake and being sent miles after the wrong party. The two young women giggled, which in his then state of mind irritated Harris. The young man, who appeared anxious to get rid of him, suggested the police station at the next town. Harris

er, however, who spoke a little English, he overcame their scruples. They promised to act, and in the evening they brought her to him in a covered wagon, together with a bill for expenses. The mee

ed, there arose the ever

uppose," said George

hem; I had learned it myself y

g to pack," my Uncle wo

methodi

Very well, put it down-together with a change. You get up; what do you do? Wash yourself. What do you wash yourself with? Soap; put down soap. Go on till you have finished. Then take your clothes. Begin at your feet; what do you wear

arefully, as he always advised, to see that he had forgotten nothing. Then he wo

ould lose

we will take with us on our bikes. The bulk of

ful," I said; "I

oked at h

aid Harris; "I have got to meet Clara

n hour," I said; "it'

rainy evenings in the Black Forest; we may be glad o

get off that story; something always