Should I Really Do It Or Not

Looking at the bright ray of the morning sun that penetrated through my faded curtain and landed on my face. I just stayed in the same position on my thin mattress, that I actually picked from the dumpsite, on my way back from work.

Allowing the sweet sun to have it's way on my body. I was admiring the beauty of it. I didn't know when I started feeling jealous of the sweet sun. It was so beautiful, more beautiful than my life. My life had always been sad, with every misfortune that happened to me, "year in, year out" It wasn't always like that, though.

While growing up, I experienced the true meaning of being loved, being an only child of the sweetest couple ever...but all that became a real life fantasy! It wasn't an easy journey for me. Not knowing what to do, while going through trials upon trials, everyday in the big city of Lagos, Nigeria. Hmm! It wasn't easy at all!

"Mnnn…! Oh God! It's morning again!"

I got up from my mattress, feeling dejected and let out a heavy sigh.

I stretched my body for a few minutes and looked at the ceiling for a few seconds, not knowing what to do that morning. I was fired from work a few days back because I refused to have s*x with a rich customer that came to order for food at the restaurant I was working. I was totally jobless with little or no spending money at all.

"Ahh Senti! Let's go out and get something in this stomach". I said to myself while walking out the door.

I had a taste of enjoyment before. Suffering like that, I couldn't help but miss every good thing I had before.

My parents and I, were living in Y state in the U.K, for many years. I was born there but we were originally from South Korea. Seoul to be precise, but my grandmother from my paternal side was an English woman. My parents had a functioning business that was yielding good fruits all year round, until all went down the drain, within a short period.

I came out that morning, ready to go and get puff puff and "Akamu", that is "Pap" in Nigerian language, with just 50 naira I could squeeze out for breakfast, trying to save up for later. I usually get "jara", that is "extra", everytime I bought Pap and puff puff from the seller.

I came out and I was greeted by my nice neighbors, they were nice to me, but were quite tired of me begging them all the time.

"Oyibo", good morning" Mummy Rashida greeted me, immediately she saw me.