Loving Him Was Too Painful

Loving you is not a sin, but why must I bear so much pain?

If I could choose and turn back time, then I wouldn't try not to fall in love with you. I would go back to the point in time when I didn't fall in love with you.

But I know none of this is in my control because all this is the path of my destiny.

So, may I ask instead?

If you can't love me, then stop hurting me.

Because really, I don't want this love to turn into hate.

If you can't love me, then stop torturing my feelings.

Because really, I want to remember all the sweet things between us, even if it's just a matter of fingers.

If you can't love me, then let me forget you.

***

The little girl wearing a ballerina dress bowed her body as a sign that the dance was over. The sound of applause that rang out in the fifteen by-twenty-meter room relieved her fatigue. Finally, Haisley could show off her ballet skills to someone she liked.

She straightened up. Seeing where her family should be sitting. Seeing their adoring faces. Her eyes looked around, but the person she was looking for was not there. And when the curtain closed, there was nothing the girl could do but let out a long sigh of disappointment.

"Oh my God, Mommy's girl can dance that well. I never expected it. Isn't that right, Daddy?" The voice of Mrs. Thea Smith, the girl's mother, sounded cheerful as she welcomed her daughter out into the waiting room for the performance.

"A gift for my beloved daughter." Mr. Smith then handed her a box. The little girl dressed in pink ballet clothes smiled cheerfully. "You'll open it when you get home, OK?" Her father ordered. The girls nodded immediately.

They then left the hall where the talent show was being held. Walked towards the parking lot, where another husband and wife were waiting for them.

"Shall we have dinner?" Greet the tall, bespectacled man standing towering in front of the girl dressed as a ballerina. He is Mr. Samuel Chayton. A good friend of the Smith family. His two sons are alumni of the school where Haisley is currently studying.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith nodded their heads.

"Where are the kids?" Mrs. Smith asked with searching eyes.

"Nathan said that he and Gilbert would follow us straight to the restaurant." Mr. Chayton replied.

The two families got into their respective cars and left the school to the place where the restaurant had been booked.

Haisley, the girl in the ballerina dress, sat in the back seat holding a gift in her lap. Her face looked sad as she asked, "Crystal went with Nathan too?" she asked finally.

"Yes. They have to take care of the paperwork at school to register for campus." Her mother answered again. Haisley took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Trying to hold back the tears that were starting to hurt her throat.

In fact, for the last two months, she had been training hard to get praise from Nathan. But the man instead chose to go with her older sister. Haisley felt annoyed, angry, and jealous as one.

Their journey to the restaurant was filled with silence because the girl who had just performed seemed reluctant to be disturbed.